Answers in the palm of your hand

The astrologist told me of personality, career, love. Strangely, it was a very curt, impersonal interchange, within an office stacked with papers… nope, no sitar playing, no incense or crystal balls. Just like a visit to the accountant.

As for my personality – for those of you that know me, he was fairly accurate, and for those of you who don’t, well, let’s just say you must experience to understand!

For work and love, he was unsettlingly precise about dates. He brought out a magnifying glass, ruler, compass, and proceeded to chart my course along the lines of my right hand, making small dots at fateful intervals in the creases of my palm.

According to my dealt hand, I have four career changes ahead of me (next one in 2 yrs) and also a “very bad period” (mid-life crisis?) between 46-50. But of course no clues about what the hell I might actually do with myself, thanks.

But it’s the question of love (em, could you define that for me please?) that makes me hate astrologers and all their preconceived notions about MY life. So apparently I have “the chance” for love at age 22, 28, 30 ½, 34, and 37 ½... (then I stopped listening).

Ok, now. Let’s think about this. If you meet your love at age 22, what about the people you’re destined to meet at 28, 30 ½, etc? Are they just affairs? Are they missed chances? And has to prod me… who was my love at 22? (‘I don’t think there was anyone special at 22,’ I say. ‘Think, think... ' he says, 'There WAS someone’.) So who did I overlook at 22? I think back hard -- was it the one who disappeared to Montana when I ended it? The player from PR? The free spirit in my pottery class? My adorable, but ever so slightly stupid, roommate? Really? Love? Hmmm, I just don’t think so.

And then he says to me – ‘You are 28 now? Do you know who your “chance” is? Is it over?’ Well, I must have seemed just a little taken aback… have I already somehow missed my one and only chance for love for the next two and a half years?! What crap! Yes, I realize that when you’re a ambitious, irreverent girl (who’s maybe just a little needy... or crazy), meeting a match doesn’t happen everyday, but still. I think I’ve recovered from his questioning, when he looks at me very sternly and tells me ,“Well, you need to find out.”

No, what I need to do is stop wasting money on someone telling me that it’s all pre-ordained. This life is mine.